Random Aggression

Stephen Colbert With the White House Correspondents

2006-05-02T07:44:00.000-07:00

This is the greatest thing we've seen since Jon Stewart handed Tucker Carlson his ass on a paper plate live on CNN. This speech has caused an uproar here in DC and if you don't watch it, you're a poor excuse for a human being.

Bush rejects tax on oil company profits

2006-04-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

I don't know why this surprises me. You would think with his approval ratings being so low, he might actually, I don't know, do the RIGHT thing for once! I believe those companies will invest the profits in renewable fuels like I believe OJ is looking for the real killers.

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

2006-04-13T01:12:00.000-07:00

You have not lived until you've seen this video. Catchy tune with just about every pop culture reference you can imagine.

Calvin and Hobbes searchable database!

2006-04-07T10:52:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of updates! Let us make up for it with the Calvin and Hobbes searchable database! It's a safe bet that the word "snow" will yield amazing results.

Random hilarious road signs

2006-03-10T08:25:00.000-08:00

This is my personal fave.

New Rules

2006-01-18T15:04:00.000-08:00

I am in no way a Bill Maher fan, but I have to admit that his list of new rules shows flashes of brilliance. My personal favorite:

"You can't wear a Che Guevara tee-shirt with your designer jeans unless you're trying to be ironic. One is a symbol for impoverished workers. The other was sewn by them."

Che shirts are one of my biggest pet peeves in the world. This old article by Bully says it a lot more eloquently than I ever could.

Notes to Netflix

2005-12-23T10:44:00.000-08:00

I didn't realize this was a new trend, but it seems like a funny idea. People apparently put post-it notes on their Netflix DVDs when they return them. Enjoy!

Oh no she didn't!

2005-12-22T10:21:00.000-08:00

Did Kirsten Dunst really park in a handicapped space just to get Starbucks? What an asshole!

Don't Hassle the Hoff

2005-12-21T13:16:00.000-08:00

Ultimate Emo Video

2005-12-09T21:26:00.000-08:00

God I hate emo kids. This is great.

Slant Magazine's 100 Essential Films

2005-12-01T06:41:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update. I love that Slant's list includes dozens of foreign art films, but doesn't forget to add Showgirls as well.

Vice Magazine's "Do's and Don't's"

2005-11-25T11:19:00.000-08:00

We here at RA love Vice Magazine. If nothing else, it introduced us to the wonders of TV Carnage. Now they have their glorious "Do's and Don't's." Forget that shit you see in the back of women's magazines that tell you not to wear white after Labor Day or other unimportant bullshit. These are do's and don't's you can actually use, such as not pissing yourself when you pass out and not trying to act sexy when you do drunken karaoke in a wool hat. Let's face it, we've all been there.

"Burn in hell, Mr. President"

2005-11-20T11:36:00.000-08:00

This columnist is seething over Shrub using Veterans' Day as an opportunity to continue to promote his ridiculous Iraq war. This is the best rant I've read in ages.

Photoshop contest: Movie Poster Mashup

2005-11-19T10:25:00.000-08:00

Some of these are just freakin' brilliant.

Peter Griffin singing "Rock Lobster"

2005-11-18T11:30:00.000-08:00

This one's for Michele!

Random pic: Yikes!

2005-11-17T17:54:00.000-08:00

I love the Livejournal random photo generator, but every now and then I run across a photo that makes me wince. Honestly, why would anyone publicize a photo this ugly?

Another wonderful eBay item

2005-11-15T13:50:00.000-08:00

Farts in a jar!

Pale Force!

2005-11-13T22:38:00.000-08:00

Hilarious clip of Jim Gaffigan on Conan O'Brien, plugging his latest "action flick" starring himself with Conan as super heroes who fight crime with the force of their pale skin and laser-shooting nipples.

Banned clip from "Family Guy"

2005-11-13T11:51:00.000-08:00

I thought I had seen all of the banned clips from this show, but this is a new one for me. I can't believe anyone would even attempt to air this! NSFW.

Random pic: Jada Pinkett-Smith's scary stomach

2005-11-12T16:40:00.000-08:00

Dayum, Jada! Iggy Pop called. He wants his torso back.

Golden Retriever gives birth to green puppy

2005-11-10T12:38:00.000-08:00

You can't make this shit up.

Plan your trip to Aruba now!

2005-11-08T14:58:00.000-08:00

Natalee Holloway's mother is joined by moron Alabama governor Bob Riley in calling for a complete boycott of Aruba. I'm sorry for her loss, but trying to punish an entire country for the awful actions of a few is just absurd. Millions go missing every year and fucking over an entire nation of innocent people is not going to bring your party-girl daughter back. Fuck Holloway-Twitty and bring on the tickets to Aruba.

Random pic. Ron Jeremy rules.

2005-11-07T12:04:00.000-08:00

Random Pic: The only worthwhile Easter tradition

2005-11-06T20:51:00.000-08:00

Bad news for you Christians: Easter was canceled this year. Seriously. They found the body.

I don't care how stupid it sounds. Coloring eggs is a lot of fun. Especially if you can bling 'em out like this.

Basic Spongemonkey

2005-11-05T11:45:00.000-08:00

I don't think this was Photoshopped.

GOP leaders to Shrub: Your presidency is effectively over

2005-11-05T09:24:00.000-08:00

Even though it will never happen, it's nice to hear that scumbag's own allies are turning on him. Now if we could just get the Dems to develop some testicular fortitude, we'll be in business.

Buy Vincent Gallo's sperm

2005-11-03T12:43:00.000-08:00

Vincent Gallo, the egomaniacal director of uber-bomb The Brown Bunny, is selling his sperm for $1 million. You could probably buy some off Chloe Sevigny for a few bumps of crystal meth.

Digusting Bridezilla

2005-11-02T21:45:00.000-08:00

As a recently married couple, we'd like to say that if either of us ever acted like this, someone would at least say something, if not hit us in the face with a bag of hot coins. The crap this woman pulls is just disgusting.

Image is from Gallery of the Absurd.

Free Robot Sex

2005-11-02T12:54:00.000-08:00

Still trying to clean up and recover from the Halloween party. Here's the random photo for today!

Random Aggression pic of the day

2005-10-28T10:10:00.000-07:00

In honor of tomorrow's big ass Halloween party, here's a costume from the dollar store.

Hilarious eBay auction

2005-10-28T10:02:00.000-07:00

This is the funniest eBay auction I've seen since the wedding dress guy. It's an auction for leather pants. Here's an excerpt:

You are bidding on a mistake.

We all make mistakes. We date the wrong people for too long. We chew gum with our mouths open. We say inappropriate things in front of grandma.

And we buy leather pants.

I can explain these pants and why they are in my possession. I bought them many, many years ago under the spell of a woman whom I believed to have taste. She suggested I try them on. I did. She said they looked good. I wanted to have a relationship of sorts with her. I’m stupid and prone to impulsive decisions. I bought the pants.

Be sure to scroll down and read the questions from members.

Thanks to Scott!

Random pic

2005-10-27T10:14:00.000-07:00

I need to start carrying around these flags with his face on them. I can think of many places to stick them.

Silly "Girls P3WND" video

2005-10-27T10:07:00.000-07:00

This is a compilation video of girls falling off moonbounces, getting into bike wrecks and just being clumsy in general. I hope one of my snowboarding accidents winds up on one of these videos someday.

Cruel thing to do to a PETA member

2005-10-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

If this clip is real, then it's cruel, and pants-wettingly funny. This very effeminate PETA member goes into an animal-testing lab and well, see for yourself.

Craigslist: do my laundry, get a blowjob

2005-10-21T21:39:00.000-07:00

(sniff.) I've been doing other people's laundry for years now, for free.

Scariest Jack 'o Lantern you'll see this year

2005-10-21T16:32:00.000-07:00

Just made this stencil from DeLay's creepy mugshot. This will definitely scare children. Click on the thumbnail for a full-sized version you can print out and use for your pumpkin.

Balloon Jesus

2005-10-21T10:18:00.000-07:00

A savior that causes static cling and whose mortal enemy is a safety pin. That's my kind of religion.

DeLay's mug shot

2005-10-20T14:44:00.000-07:00

He has one of those faces that just begs to be kicked in.

Angles are everything

2005-10-20T10:14:00.000-07:00

This was sent to me with the subject line, "Buy the photographer a beer!"
God, I hate this guy so much I can taste bile.

Worst Halloween Costumes of All Time

2005-10-18T17:54:00.000-07:00

I really hate this site, but I must admit that this is a funny feature.

9. Vlad the HIV Positive Vampire

8. Bonzo the Wacky, Pedophiliac Clown

7. Mr. Carbon Monoxide Poisoning

6. Jihad Joe (comes complete with Koran & working suicide belt )

5. Peaches the Lovable, Coprophagic Puppy

4. Captain Shanker

3. The Scotch & Blow Kid

2. Randy: Your Overage Internet Pal

1. Sudsy the Alcoholic, Herpes-riddled Moose

Cute futbol guy

2005-10-18T12:34:00.000-07:00

I love the Livejournal random photo generator. Most of the stuff there involves ugly white kids throwing watered-down gang signs, but every now and then you find a real gem. This little guy is just too awesome. I normally hate kids, but I'd steal this one if I could.

Scientology: You Are A Fucking Moron

2005-10-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

The following site has been bombarded by complaints and threats of legal action by followers of Scientology. Last time I checked, parody was protected by the first amendment, so these people really shouldn't do a damned thing to change their site. Let's help them keep up the great work!

Be sure to scroll down and watch the "You Are Fucking Morons" video. It explains the basics of Scientology and why they believe in stuff like "body thetans."

Wanted: Sinners

2005-10-14T12:20:00.000-07:00

Awesome. Simply awesome.

"Camel Toads"

2005-10-13T13:47:00.000-07:00

This news clip made us laugh out loud. Thanks to Deanna!

Random Pic - The Philosopher

2005-10-11T11:30:00.000-07:00

Hmm, I always thought God was a pimped-out Geo Metro, but I could be wrong.

Conservatives finally admitting Iraq war was a mistake

2005-10-11T11:21:00.000-07:00

No shit? Really? You can't convince me they're JUST NOW realizing it was a mistake. Why was it a mistake? Because they always knew it was wrong but they didn't think of the consequences? Do these asshat draft-dodgers actually care that so many of our loved ones have been killed for nothing? I imagine it's probably the sinking approval ratings more than anything. This war was always wrong; it was always for oil. We're ready to kill for the last measly drop of oil on earth just so we can keep driving our big fucking SUVs to the big fucking mall. This was a war based on greed and never should have happened. Democrats need to develop some balls and Republicans need to develop souls.

Random pic of the day

2005-10-09T16:28:00.000-07:00

I think I met this guy when I was waiting tables at a sports bar in Alabama.

Why Mississippi wasn't looted

2005-10-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

Random pic of the day. I hate that our blog has recently turned to random pictures for amusement. Not that we have any real traffic, but it's still nice to have real content. I do apologize for having no real content. We'll be out of touch for the next few days, but I promise to have something interesting when we come back.

Random pic of the day

2005-10-04T12:38:00.000-07:00

If your friends pass out, it is your duty to fuck with them.

Video of Cocaine Kate

2005-10-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

No one was shocked that an emaciated model did cocaine. I was surprised after seeing this video that she did it so blatantly in front of a roomful of people and a camera.

Awesome hockey fans

2005-10-03T14:40:00.000-07:00

Random pic of the day.

Ninjas against Bush

2005-10-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

Random pic of the day.

Mr. Bean does Baywatch

2005-10-01T16:38:00.000-07:00

Random pic of the day. This one makes us laugh out loud every time we see it.

Random pic

2005-09-30T20:08:00.000-07:00

This is my new favorite picture.

Random pic of the day

2005-09-30T12:03:00.000-07:00

The truth behind those Hot Topic shirts. Enjoy.

Not so random pic of the day

2005-09-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

Cafe Saint-Ex is a great little bistro over near U St. I've always liked them, but now I love them after seeing this.

New feature here at Random Aggression

2005-09-28T12:58:00.000-07:00

It's the random pic of the day. No further explanation needed, I hope!

We met Yogi the Pug!

2005-09-24T16:40:00.000-07:00

Yogi is something of a local celebrity here in the DC/Northern Virginia area. He had a stroke when he was a puppy and now his tongue won't go back in his mouth. Meeting Yogi was the highlight of the lame Blocktoberfest that took place in Ballston today. Yogi and his owner were both gracious to me, even though I acted like an obnoxious groupie. I didn't have a camera, so the pic below is from my crappy camera phone.
Go to Yogi's site to see better pics of him! You can also get some Yogi schwag and help support victims of Hurricane Katrina.

Disco He-Man does 4 Non Blondes

2005-09-23T12:43:00.000-07:00

I think most of us growing up in the 80's noticed later that a lot of our favorite shows had some subtext that we didn't quite understand until we were older. He-Man might be the one exception. A muscular, pretty blond with a pageboy haircut and gladiator gear who wrestled other oiled-up beefcake types, hmmm...

Watch this video and remove all doubt about the homoeroticism of He-Man. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Stewie "Subservient Chicken" Griffin

2005-09-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

Stewie now has his own "Subservient Chicken" style website. Tell him what to do!

So far, typing in "broccoli" and "mass murder" have yielded the best results.

Cliff Huxtable sweaters

2005-09-23T07:14:00.000-07:00

I have a passion for bad sweaters. At my old job, one of my coworkers declared it "Bad Sweater Day" for my last day and had people wear their best bad sweaters. I had to share this one I'm watching on eBay. Bad Sweater Guy is going to be so jealous.

DC public nudity group advertising for female members

2005-09-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

Color me shocked. I'm going to HAVE to contact these people out of sheer curiosity.

Yes, we're 12

2005-09-19T11:52:00.000-07:00

Stumble Upon is a great resource for finding new sites, especially when you're afflicted with ADD to the level that we are. Bored with a site? Just hit the Stumble button and you have a new one in the genre of your choosing.
Thanks to Stumble, we can find dumb cartoons such as this one from Spamusement that made us laugh out loud.

Filmstrip International: "You're an asshole"

2005-09-19T10:47:00.000-07:00

The sheer beauty of this video and the lyrics of the song brought tears to my eyes.

Arrgh, matey!

2005-09-19T06:52:00.000-07:00

In honor of National 'Talk Like a Pirate Day', here is a wonderful vocabulary list. Savvy?

Spears' little Cletus Jr.

2005-09-15T08:58:00.000-07:00

I hate the fact that this was all over the news this morning. Really, really makes me wish Bill Hicks was still around to comment:

"Trailer parks all over America filling up with little miracles. Thunk!, thunk!, thunk! Look at all my little miracles. Filling up my trailer like a sardine can. Look at them."

"You know what would be a little miracle? If I could remember your daddy's name. I guess I'll have to call you Trucker Jr. Background Dancer Jr. That's all I remember about your daddy was his fuzzy little pot belly riding on top of me shooting his caffeine ridden semen into my belly to produce my little water head miracle baby child. Thunk. There's your brother, Pizza Delivery Boy Jr. Married When Drunk In Vegas Jr., thunk! here's your other brother, thunk here's your other brother, Will Work For Food Jr."

Actually, Titney's not so bad. If Jessica Simpleton or Paris Hilton ever give birth, Satan will actually come to earth and take out the human race.

Peaches rocks! Support stem cell research

2005-09-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

I've loved Peaches since I heard the first few bars of "Fuck the Pain Away." She rivals only Wesley Willis with her lyrics:

Suckin' on my titties like you wanted me,
Callin me, all the time like blondie
Check out my chrissy behind
It's fine all of the time
Like sex on the beaches,
What else is in the teaches of peaches? huh? what?

Her crotch shots, her duet with Iggy Pop, her unshaved armpits - this woman is my idol!

Just when I thought I couldn't love her more, I received the following email:

Hi Friends and Fans

My sister has had Multiple Sclerosis for 17 years. She is wheelchair bound and has very aggressive-progressive form of MS. There is no cure. She is my hero and my best friend.

It is so hard to see this happen to her.

Stem cell research is one way to possibly figure out a cure for MS and many other illnesses that effect up to 110 million people. But Bush has vowed to veto any additional funding of stem cell research. All the bill in the US asks for is to have access to the 8,000 embryos that are discarded by fertility clinics every year. What's even more ridiculous about Bush's proposed veto is that there is a provision in the bill that gives the donors the option of having their embryo discarded or used for medical research. Even though this bill looks like it will be passed in the senate, Bush has vowed over and over again to veto it. For the record this would be the first time in office that Bush has vetoed a bill.

My brother-in-law Eric has started a national program called WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES wondering whether President Bush might just feel differently if it affected his family. Eric has asked you to send him a pair of old shoes and a letter to Bush saying why you think Stem cell research is important and he in turn will send all the shoes and letters to Bush.

Thanks for reading this and i hope you send your old shoes and the letter soon.

xxx Peaches

( Just to let you all know im in the studio and finishing up my new record.
I am so excited. love it love it love it!!! )

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Here is my brother-in-law's address....

Eric Yaverbaum
Walk A Mile In My Shoes
C/o Jericho Communications
304 Hudson Street, Ste. 700
New York, NY 10013

For more info contact: stemcell@jerichopr.com

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞
∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

I'll do anything for Peaches, especially now that I know she supports stem cell research.

As if we needed another reason to despise Santorum

2005-09-09T13:38:00.000-07:00

Another great example of the oxymoron that is compassionate conservatism. Apparently, resident moron and frothy mixture Rick "Man-on-Dog" Santorum compared the recent experiences of homeless New Orleans residents to summer camp and said, "Isn't this kind of fun?"

(Remember, this is the same guy who likened gay sex to beastiality. That's some logic, there pal. Can you say, "closet case?" Yeah. I knew you could.)

The pale males that run this country couldn't be more out of touch or less compassionate. Let some of the evacuees move into your house, Rick, and you go have fun at "camp."

Helping Katrina victims

2005-09-07T07:23:00.000-07:00

Because I can't afford to give much money, I am going to try and donate items and my free time. We just got evacuees from New Orleans here in DC and I'd like to encourage everyone to help however you can! Personally, I'm going to try to help out the folks over at the Armed Forces Retirement Home. The one in Biloxi was destroyed, so many of the veterans are here in DC now.

The government has barely done anything, but the people have and will continue to do so.

Keith Olbermann on the Bush administration's response to the "city of Louisiana"

2005-09-06T14:17:00.000-07:00

This is the most eloquent rant I have ever heard. Olbermann's genius editorial should be required viewing material. It's not bad enought that Condaleeza "Kindasleazy" Rice was busy seeing a Broadway show and buying designer shoes while the Gulf Coast was being ravaged. That's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this administration's unforgivable lack of response to the tragedies on the Gulf Coast. These are the same asshats who claimed they would protect us if we voted for them. Well, I didn't vote for them, not that it mattered. I hope those that did will FINALLY see why it was such a horrible choice and help us get these greedy, worthless, lying bastards out in '08.

Johnny Rotten disses Bono

2005-09-06T13:20:00.000-07:00

Ha! I don't give a frog's fat ass that he's a sellout. He's brutally honest about everything and everyone, never tries to make nice and takes no prisoners. I love Johnny Rotten and Bono is a phony, pretentious ass.

eBay auction: My Girlfriend Cheated On Me With A Devil-Worshiping Midget

2005-09-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

This has got to be the greatest eBay auction ever. Only in West Virginia:

"NOW HERE IS WHAT HAPPEND. AFTER LIVING TOGETHER FOR A YEAR AND A HALF, ONE NIGHT SHE NEVER CAME HOME. I THEN FOUND OUT THAT SHE SPENT THE NIGHT WITH A MIDGET. THE DUDE IS SHORTER THAN HER AND THE HAIR IS LONGER TOO. OH DID I MENTION THAT HE WORSHIPS THE DEVIL?"

This guy is now selling unflattering pics of the ex on eBay.

Gas Buddy! Find the cheapest gas near you

2005-09-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

If biking and walking are out of the question, this comes in handy. Type in your zip code and find the cheapest gas prices near you.

FDA Director of Women's Health steps down over Plan B

2005-08-31T11:20:00.000-07:00

Finally! Someone in the FDA with integrity!

From her announcement: "The recent decision announced by the
Commissioner about emergency contraception, which continues to limit women's
access to a product that would reduce unintended pregnancies and reduce
abortions is contrary to my core commitment to improving and advancing women's
health."

Women can't get the morning-after pill, but sex offenders can get taxpayer-funded Viagra.

Good for Susan Wood. More people need to stand up to this administration.

The Bush Administration blows goats and other statements of the obvious

2005-08-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

If you've ever had your head so far up your ass that you can't figure out how awful this administration is, just take a look at the Washington Post every now and then. In the midst of the Katrina disaster, the Bushfucks take it upon themselves to allow the fucking power plants to pollute even more than ever. He and his cronies in the oil, coal and gas industries are making money hand over fist, while many Americans soon won't be able to afford the gas it takes for them to drive to work.
Not only that, but thanks to the administration's dirty little tricks like foot-dragging and delaying, SCOTUS nominee John "Assbag" Roberts' horrible judicial record is just now being seen by the Democrats. This is the sleaziest, greediest, most shameful administration in our history. The only consolation is that the moron's approval ratings are at an all-time low, thanks to the gas prices and his fucked-up war for oil "freedom."

Bruce Campbell is back!

2005-08-30T11:37:00.000-07:00

The Screaming Brain, starring Bruce Campbell and Stacy Keach. What more could you ask for? Except maybe to have it directed by Lloyd Kaufman...

Click here to download the sweet-ass poster.

Ann Coulter has "worn out her welcome" at the Arizona Daily Star

2005-08-30T10:30:00.000-07:00

YES! I'm all for free speech, but goddamn, this woman just spews vitriol from her pores. I don't know any conservatives that spout the kind of hate this cunt does.

From the article:

"Finally, we've decided that syndicated columnist Ann Coulter has worn out her welcome. Many readers find her shrill, bombastic and mean-spirited. And those are the words used by readers who identified themselves as conservatives."

Ed's note: This and other wonderful comics can be found at Striporama.

Maryland religious leaders join together to support gay marriage!!

2005-08-30T06:43:00.000-07:00

This is wonderful. No matter how many nasty remarks I make about organized religion, I do understand what an important role it plays in the fight for equal rights for gays and lesbians. I love to see that these religious leaders have recognized that everyone should have the same rights and protections no matter what hole they stick it in.

Get a pint down your neck

2005-08-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

Oasis songwriter Noel Gallagher on the band's influence on rock music: "We were the first people to come out and say, 'The world's a great place, life is for living. Forget grunge music. Get a pint of Guinness down your neck, and pick that guitar up.'"

Mayor Anthony Williams' blog

2005-08-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

Has anyone read this dreck? It makes Fred Durst's blog sound like Shakespeare wrote it. No wonder he never updates it.

John Roberts is an assbag

2005-08-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

There is NO EXCUSE for this pig. He actually said that equal pay for men and women is "anti-capitalist." How can this douche replace Sandra Day O'Connor? I swear, this whole administration is sending us back to the Dark Ages.

The Return of Mosh Girl

2005-08-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

Just because this picture never gets old. Even the following Photoshops can't hold a candle to the original. If only someone had gotten it on video. She would put the Star Wars Kid to shame.

*Ed's note- NSFW ads in the link.

The Aristocrats

2005-08-18T18:43:00.000-07:00

Good news, kids. The Penn and Teller documentary about the world's dirtiest joke is playing in DC. I haven't been to see it yet, myself. I first heard the joke a few months ago, when I heard Cartman tell it.

Ed's note: The Cartman Hitler costume has nothing to do with the joke, it's just the funniest pic I have of him.

Top 70 Profane, Rude or Inappropriate Movie Quotes

2005-08-18T18:39:00.000-07:00

Props to Crushed By Inertia for this fabulous list of inappropriate movie quotes.

The $1 Ghetto Pirate Costume

2005-08-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

The plans for the Halloween reception are coming along nicely. We've registered at Crate and Barrel and Target, secured the location, interviewed DJs and photographers and made plans for the moon bounce.

My only stipulation for guests is that they come in costume. Not just one of those crappy draw-a-black-circle-around-my-eye-and-write-a-big-"P"-on-my-shirt-and-I'm-a-black-eyed-pea costume, but a really creative one. Have fun with it! Something like the $1 Pirate Costume would be great if you have this guy's attitude!

Whatever happened to the Misanthropic Bitch?

2005-08-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

I know, I know she's still around, but I wish she'd update more often. She used to have the best site on the Net. Her mailings were a joy to behold - dead baby jokes, stories of people too stupid to live, etc.

I know she's out of school and probably has a life now, but I'd like to see her make a full comeback.

The Tara Reid Drinking Game!

2005-08-14T08:03:00.000-07:00

The geniuses over at Liquid Generation have created the Tara Reid drinking game.

Try to lose when you play it. Her comments are hilarious.

The Wonderful World of Penis Unicorns!

2005-08-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there just are no words.

Dan Snyder's a dickbag

2005-08-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

I love the Redskins, but Snyder's a pompous, selfish assblaster. Bribing the park service to cut down huge old trees in a protected area just so he could have a better view of the Potomac? Hey Snyder, here's a thought: Get off your bloated ass and take a WALK by the river if you want to see it so badly.

100 Movie Quotes the Potty-Mouthed Hipster Shouldn't Be Without

2005-08-10T08:42:00.000-07:00

I'm still partial to: "How would Christ benefit from me putting my tongue in someone's mouth?"
- Orgazmo
"I wouldn't suck your lousy dick if I were suffocating and your balls had oxygen!"
- Female Trouble

-Ed's note:This pic is a tshirt from Cat and Girl. Go there and read the comics immediately.

Katherine Harris is not only fugly, but batshit crazy

2005-08-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

Many of you might have read recently that ~~Gargoyle~~ Congresswoman Katherine Harris claims that those nightmare-inducing photos of her from the 2000 campaign were doctored by the papers to make her look like Tammy Faye threw up on her. (How do you explain the live TV clips then, sweetie?)

Apparently she's still upset by the makeup jokes and is trying to make herself appear more attractive. This horrifying clip from Hannity & Colmes could possibly prevent you from ever having a stiffy again. I know I was a guy until I watched it. My penis immediately raced up inside me and became a vagina after viewing.

Via Crooks and Liars
Newshounds has a great take on it as well.

Kid gets community service for giving a Purple Nurple

2005-08-08T06:08:00.000-07:00

What is the world coming to when kids can't torture their friends? If a titty twister was the worst I ever got as a kid, I wouldn't be the strong, yet deranged adult that I am today. Jeez. Let the kids get a few bruises. We're turning the next generation into an army of Ralph Wiggums with all this overprotection.

Sean Astin in a Speedo

2005-08-05T10:50:00.000-07:00

I don't care if you have the body of a taut, preteen Swedish boy. No one looks good in a Speedo.

Nut Bra

2005-08-05T07:17:00.000-07:00

Normally, picturing an old guy's saggy teabags don't exactly crack me up. It actually took me years of therapy to stop having that nightmare. However, this commercial for The Nut Bra was my first big laugh of the day. Best line: "My nuts look like Clint Eastwood!"

Coke can tuxedo

2005-08-04T10:13:00.000-07:00

I've always been a fan of the duct tape tuxedos, but this is quite creative, too.
Keep up the great work with the DIY kids!

Midget Oprah!

2005-08-03T08:52:00.000-07:00

I'm not a fan of Oprah, but this is still pretty sweet.

If there was a midget Bruce Campbell, I'd track him down and keep him as a pet. Or love slave, depending on my mood.

Thanks to Michele the Dirty Whore for the pics.

Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill

2005-08-02T13:22:00.000-07:00

The guy over at Why I Hate DC had a great post about this ridiculous feature put out by The Hill. It really is sad that this is unironic, and that it just features a bunch of people who look like they're made of Wonderbread.

"Come to Butthead..."

Fuck Wal Mart

2005-08-02T09:20:00.000-07:00

Anyone who shops at Wal Mart or supports them in any way should be dragged naked through a street full of rusty carpenter nails. It is refreshing to see that the left wing is FINALLY organizing a great movement and possibly forcing a huge, evil corporation to change its ways. Let's keep up the good work y'all.

80's Ads

2005-08-02T09:16:00.000-07:00

Just a few commercials from the 80's for those pop culture whores who are feeling nostalgic.
"

Photoshop Phriday Phreakin' Phunny

2005-07-29T06:58:00.000-07:00

The folks over at Something Awful are usually hilarious, but their "Photoshop Phridays" often leave something to be desired. This week's makes up for all the bad puns and lousy artwork of the past few weeks. All of these are hysterical, if a bit wrong.